The development of your life either positively or negatively is dependent on your association.Who your friends are,goes a long way to determine your success in life.You can not improve more than the people you spend more of your time with.When you choose friends,chose those who will add value to your life and not those who will make your life reduce in value.We may not have the choice to choose our biological parents,but we sure have the choice on the association we keep.What are your goals and vision for life? let your goals determine who your friends are.I would like to share thoughts of a few great men on the Power of Association.
Colin Powell,who was one time Secretary of State of the United States of America,has this to say on the power of association:
“The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve.
Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity.
An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people. As you grow, your associates will change. Some of your friends will not want you to go on. They will want you to stay where they are. Friends that don’t help you climb will want you to crawl. Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream. Those that don’t increase you will eventually decrease you”.
You need to realize that you don’t need too many people in your life if you must achieve your dreams.You must be able to distinguish your friends from your fans.Stay with friends who motivate you and encourage you to go for your dreams.There are so many people who are just around you and they add nothing to your life.
I use the pareto principle,i spend 20% of my time with 80% of people who add little value to my life and 80% of my time with the 20% that add more value to my life,thats the secrete of productivity.
I worked in a marketing company in the UK years ago,and i remenber my director used to say,if you will be a success in this company you must spend most of your time being friends with those we call high rollers,we say Roll with the high Rollers,those who consistently make more money and sell more,and i became a high Roller in a short time because my best friend was the guy who sold the most and i learnt from him.
This is so important,if you get this you will experience not just a mental change but a spiritual and physical change,we must understand that real change starts in your mind,even the bible says Evil communication corrupts good manners” no matter how strong you seem,the wrong company affects you negatively.Show me your friends and i will tell you who you are,i dont need a prophet to tell you were you are going to end,all i need is to see those you hang out with,you can change were you are going to today,by changing your association.
Be careful who speaks into your life,never tell your problems to those who cannot contribute to the solutions.never follow those who are not going anywhere,with some people you spend and evening but with others you invest it.
Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships. If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl, but if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights.
“A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.” The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate – for the good and the bad. ( Colin Powell )
According to Rohn Jim,we become the combined average of the five people we hang around the most.The people we spend our time with will determine what conversations dominate our attention and what observations,attitudes and opinions we repeatedly are introduced to.
The lesson Jim Rohn wants you to learn is that,we will have the combined attitude,health and income of five people you hang around with.Imagine this,Les Brown puts it this way,that you earn two to three thousand dollars of your closest friends.If everyone you know,earns nothing more than a 100dollars,you can imagine what you are likely to earn.
Evaluate your associations into three categories:
- Disassociation: decide the quality of life you want to live then associate yourself with people who represent and support that vision.There are some people you might need to break away from completely,it might not be easy,but you cannot surround yourself with negative influences,kiss them goodbye,it might be a girlfriend.
- Limited Associations:Decide how much you can be influenced based on how those people represent themselves.There are people you can spend 3hours with and not 3days and others 3minutes and not 3hours.Spend your time wisely,smartly and make sure its productive.
- Expanded Associations:What ever area you want to see improvement on,find those who represent the success you want,could be parenting skills,academic success,relationships,the life style you want,and spend time with them.Join organisations, businesses,and health clubs were this people are and make friends with them.